Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Of growing up and wanting to become what not

I grew up playing with my little brother who is just 2 and half years younger than me. Mother used to knit us sweaters in the winter, of the same color except the size: mine used to be just a little larger than his. 

Today both of us started working the same time, though his perks being a little heavier than mine for the stupid reason of him being a technical grad and me just some general grad though I spent a year doing post graduate diploma. I do not understand the government’s policy for the special preference rendered to the technical graduates :(  I am just so jealous and you know what FRUSTRATED!!!!!!

With frocks and shirts clad around my lean body (I was lean then: P) I used to play the doctor and him the patient. For reasons unknown I always wanted to become a dentist when I grow up. That was my childhood dream. With a scarp tied around my neck, used as a pseudo stethoscope I used to check brother’s teeth and say it is perfectly al rite every time :).

This inspiration must have come when mother used to take me to the dentist for the regular check up. There was this young lady dentist who used to do my check up for how bad my teeth were since then. Seeing her moving in the white apron, amusement was what I used to be filled with and I longed to become like her. Perhaps I should believe that she was my icon of the time.

Growing up my ambition took its twist. I wanted to become a lawyer, for whatever reasons unknown again. I did not have the slightest idea as to what it takes to become a lawyer. When the young trainee teachers used to come to our school for apprenticeship, their first class would be the session of introducing yourself, basically they would like to know who you are, where you are from and what you want to become when you grow up. And not to forget, what your hobbies are, I am sure you must be having the same story as mine:).

When asked what I want to become I would promptly say ‘a lawyer!’ Later on in life right after finishing college I did my share of asking the same rapid questions to the students when I became a teacher for a year:). It was pretty much fun though and the answers were amusing especially when some of them said that they want to become a DJ and for some of them they had no ambitions in life at all. Call it ironic but I found it sad:(

Hmmnnn…when I was in junior high, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series inspired me a lot to become a detective haha. And Mr. Goon in the Enid Blyton’s series was my favorite villain. The Famous Five was another favorite of mine. All these books were a boost to my dream of becoming a detective when I grow up. 

Maturity must have started to implant on me. On a serious note, I wanted to become a social worker. Oh I used to crack my head a lot as to what requires being a social worker. And at the end all the thoughts used to vanish in rubble of ashes. 

Then in the middle I was stuck, aimless as you would say it. I had no ambition in life, I did not know what I wanted to become when I grow up. Maybe then I was waiting for my call in life. I just moved on with the flow.

I had a keen interest in literature and wanted to study literature but the forces of nature, the evolution of earth and the study of earth in wholesome made me take up geography and I graduated with a meager grade in geography. 

Life after college was not easy; this huge task of sitting for the RCSC exam had me in a fix. I wanted to take up Journalism, another ambition now all of a sudden. But I was caught in between the civil service exam and journalism as a career.  Very much rampant, one can become a joournalist in Bhutan without having  to undego any journalism courses, pretty easy and illogical too. And after a few years up the career you become a editor too, wow!  Taking the earlier as my choice I made up to join the civil service and after a year-long course at RIM, I am here in the civil service, so disgruntled and dissatisfied in life. I will tell you why in my next post.


  1. i always wanted to become a teacher...but in middle school, i wanted to become a computer engineer...until for some unknown reasons i changed it to become civil engineering....but now i am happily doing some other thing....that's life....if only it came with foreseen rules and destinies told before...

  2. Nice one! I also wanted to become a doctor when I was probably in eighth standard and below. After class nine, I knew I lacked interest in science subjects though I liked Biology very much. Then I switched over to becoming a lawyer though without any clear or obvious reasons as to what it took to be one. I am here doing law degree but apparently not enjoying. But I believe it's same everywhere. We find it beautiful at the very first thought of it and as days pass we become fed up or say bored. Thanks for sharing your frequently changing ambitions here. Congrats you are working but sad to know you are not liking it :p

  3. Sogyel : How it varies what you want to become as you grow older, You are right, life is like that.

    Langa : Thank you :).Enjoy what you do, thats what i have learnt now :P. and yea as u say, the grass is always greener on the other side, maybe thats what happened to me.And hope i learn to love my work now, i got no other choice :(


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